Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Weird Things About Living in Khamis Mushait, Saudi Arabia (on a Compound)

Weird Things About Living in Khamis Mushait, Saudi Arabia  (on a Compound):

1. The compound workers spray for bugs with what I think is either Kerosene or Diesel Fuel. At night after they spray, I lay on the asphalt on my back with the cockroaches and twitch a bit gasping for air certain I will die. A few minutes later, both the cockroaches and I shake it off and walk away fine.

2. If certain things come into the small commissary, there is nearly a westerner jihad to get them before they are gone. Tortilla chips and tortillas were all the rage two weeks ago. I would shank someone for some Ben and Jerry's Half Baked Frozen Yogurt.

3. The produce and meat selection here is small and not very good. Therefor my diet consists of mainly chicken, carbs, and fried thingies. However, due to the high altitude, my only form of transportation being my feet and being in a self contained sauna when I leave the compound in head to toe covering, pounds just fall off here. I am considering writing a book on weight loss called "The kerosene, home-elixir, deep fried, and abaya diet".

4. Saudi's theory of relativity, and science in general, differ from the west. Time and space work differently here. I have been here only 8 weeks and already I have made and lost friends, switch social groups three times, cried over people moving away or going on vacation, started and quit four different exercise regimes, and traveled 18 hours in order to eat pork and see lush green, nature. Also, we have never been to the Saudi moon.

5. There is an endless supply of boogers here because everything is covered in dust and dust storms are a thing here. Living here is every 6th grade bully's dream. You will never ever run out of giant boogers to wipe on your victims. I find or see boogers in strange places and often quietly ponder how these boogers came to find themselves on the treadmill start button at the gym, on the secret door to PS1, or on my dining room table during taco night.

6. There are cats EVERYWHERE here. When I first got here, there was already a cat living inside the apartment I moved into. We have two stray cats who live outside our villa and then there are probably another 100 cats on the compound. Everyone feeds these cats and gives them different names. I really want to build a cat city behind one of the empty villas where all of the cats can live together in cat houses that are replicas of miniature buildings---a kitty taj mahal, a kitty white house house, a kitty mosque. It would be glorious.

7. People are referred to here by physical description, place of origin, or place of work. So far I have met a Tall Paul, Small Paul, French Frank, Irish Dave, English Dave, Army Chris, Red, Santa Claus, and The Scouser. My Paul is neither the small or the tall Paul, so I have no idea when anyone is talking about him. My name here to most is Erin, and I just go with it as Erin has become my alternate identity here.

I think living here in Saudi on a compound, everyone becomes a version of themselves anyway-- a stereotype, an extreme version of a behavior or attitude they commonly portray, or a version of themselves they would just like to try on for size. Some people have been here for years and years, but for the most part it seems that people come and go and that the life here is a transitional period to a greater goal and so identity, like life here, is temporal and malleable.

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